02 Jun 2011
by Valeriein Other Stuff
I started reading personal development materials several years ago – probably around 2004 was my first motivation/how to make more money/how to live a better life read. How grand the journey has been! Throughout all these books and all these years I’ve been taught by most of these teachers (including those in school, mind you) that focus is key and that one must always have in mind his or her goal and focus focus focus.
And so, I’ve taken it to heart since the summer of 2007 to create a daily morning routine. I’m going to speak for now about this specifically – the morning routine, though there were other things I wanted to ‘get in order,’ too. So, as you can probably guess, even though I ventured out to create this wonderful morning routine way back almost four years ago, it was never successfully created. I mean, how long does it really take to think up of a good routine? Wake up (6am), breathe, drink warm water, go for a walk or a run, come back home, take a shower, eat breakfast, be ready for my day. Actually that sounds like a pretty amazing morning routine, doesn’t it? So, for that reason, because it sounds great (and because I’m a super organized person), I spent all this time trying to get to that point – that point of perfection in my mornings.
Of course, the specific morning routine I was striving for would change once in a while. I think the process was something like this: I would be super excited about my routine, I would follow it for a few days, hit a bump in the road, reaffirm to follow it and then give up after some time. Then, I think my mind would take some time off from thinking about morning routines and focus on something else that needed my attention to ‘make perfect’. Eventually, I’d read another book or article on the power of morning routines or the power of focus and become re-motivated to take up my morning routine idea.
I realized that this off-and-on morning routine creating was causing me to stray off what I’m really after – living the life of my dreams. It’s funny, because I only realized this about a month ago. The whole idea of a morning routine being the right thing to do was so ingrained in me I didn’t even see that the pattern I was following was not working. I would just… want to do a morning routine every month or so and then eventually give up. Giving up on it is fine on its own, but I always felt like I was giving up and that yet again my dream of a perfect morning routine was ruined (though not quite so dramatically). Instead, what was really happening is that the morning routine I had created was no longer serving me and I moved on to another (usually one that was not so regimented).
It’s actually very funny I only realized this a month ago because I’ve been living and teaching and seeing if it’s indeed possible to live on inspiration, to create and work on inspiration. Hello? This is my whole thing – living organically, on inspiration, without pushing or shoving yourself, but simply flowing in the direction you choose. I don’t really have a point here, it’s just so odd that I’d only discovered my hidden obsession with routine this late.
Actually, there was only one book that I read that didn’t root for focus as such. That book is Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher. In it she talks about how it’s not necessary that a person actually decide ‘what they want to be’ and that be a singular thing. She offers case studies of people who have multiple interests, practice them when they please and are still operating well in this life. Not only that, but she offers practical advice on how to do it. I recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t want to choose between their interests but doesn’t know where to begin.
So what is it about focus that sounds so great to us when we hear it? I’m not entirely sure. It seems like a lot of successful people were focused individuals. The Olympian athletes seem pretty focused, don’t they?. Business owners and managers and all the people who have what we want seem to be focused – and they’re already where we want to be. What about positive thinking in general – don’t you need to think about the stuff you want in order to get it? (Side note: Actually, no. Ever had a tiny thought about something that later came to be and you were surprised because you had forgotten all about it?)
I say that more than anything, successful people are inspired. Sure, they may seem focused to us, but I think the reason anyone can keep their focus for that long (for inspirational-book authors and statisticians to see) is because they’re inspired to do the thing they’re focused on (And inspiration is something much more difficult to teach, no?). I wonder if there are good examples of people who are not focused but who are successful? Me, for one. What about the people in Barbara Sher’s book? I think thinking about people who are successful but not necessarily focused is a good starting point for thinking about how to lead one’s life, but I don’t think that anecdotes and ‘evidence’ are necessary for this endeavor.
If you’re at all inspired, tingled or curious about these things I’ve said, then it’s a must for you to consider how to live life on inspiration and not necessarily by a schedule or an ever-growing to do list.
My morning routine dilemma was not the only area in my life in which I recognized the need to live ‘more in the flow’. I definitely enjoy doing things out of inspiration, allowing my habits to change naturally as my moods or needs change. So, how does one go about living life in the flow without losing your mind? – How do you stay organized?
Here are a few things I like to do:
- When feeling overwhelemed, I like to draw out a mindmap of the things that I’m currently thinking about or working out. I take out my coloured felt-tip pens, some markers and get to mindmapping my stuff. This is (1) a relaxing activity and (2) an inspiring activity. Minmapping like this, without any specific purpose to use the mindmap later (which I generally don’t) is a really freeing activity that makes me feel like my life is .
- A similar method to mindmapping is writing out the current projects and their most immediate next steps in a list. This is just as helpful as the way I mindmap above, but doesn’t require as much time or effort. At the end, it’s really nice to see a that everything fits on one page, things are duable and there is nothing to worry about.
- I use 2do as my to do list application, which syncs with Toodledo (free) and various other programs (like outlook and iCal). The app exists for both the iPhone and Android phones. The great thing about it is that I write my tasks down and things I have to do on specific days and forget about them. Then, if there is something I need to do on any given day, the app reminds me via teh handy app badge. So nice!
- When a day seems to be either very busy, or very slow, I write down everything I can think of that I need to do. Then I go through the list and decide on several (up to 5) items that I am able to do that the for sure. So, those 5 will definitely get done. If there’s time or energy for more, then I’ll do more. However – here’s the good part – I write out the items not for me in a new list title “The Universe’s To Do” or “Other To Dos”. And usually, by the end of today, not only are my tasks done, but some of the others are, too. Sometimes it happens that I did them out of inspiration or when I was on a roll (without looking at my list). Sometimes others have done them for me without me asking them – strangers or people I know. And that’s wonderful.
- Notice when tasks I meant to do get done without me looking at any lists. This happens so often and it’s so nice to know. Why? Because that means that when I’m in my flow I naturally do things that are important, and not only do I do them naturally, I do them and have fun and smile and rejoice! Of course, when things need to get done, I do not forget about them because I have my handy-dandy 2do app with its badge (see 3rd point from the top).
Really, these things I do just show me that it’s possible to do everything in the flow, in the zone, while happy and energetic! Though I’m not currently doing that 100% of the time, it’s close. It’s so much more enjoyable to do things while inspired, no? And now I know, from experience, that there is a practical way to do that.
Agree? Disagree? Comment with what you think.
18 May 2011
by Valeriein Blogkeeping, Business
Why I started Valeriyan
I started this blog because I was encouraged to share my thoughts about the world. About doing business better, about education and unschooling and about living life greatly.
I love these topics. I think about them day and night, not in worry, but in fascination and joy. I love this stuff. I love thinking about how to make businesses in which people can express themselves creatively and do and make lovely things. I love thinking about ways for people of all ages to be able to do that at any time, whenever they please. I love the philosophical and moral questions that arise from these topics through discussion with others, reading and personal contemplation.
I also love applying these ideas to my own business ventures and other lovely things I do. Business ventures like making money online (here’s some music written by one of my business partners) and the wonderful Center 31. Specifically – how do I go about living my life from inspiration? Am I doing today the things I fervently spoke about yesterday? And… if I’m not, is that important? Is that okay? How do I let go of shoulds – for myself and others? How do I make a logical argument for letting go of those shoulds?
Selling on Valeriyan
And… this blog was for all of that. But, this blog was also for me to recommend books and make money selling those recommended books. This blog was also about recommending products that help businesses and people to do the things I talk about, if they are so inspired. This blog was intended to be a platform for publishing my own products – any books I may write, any workshops I design, anything that will help businesses and people do the things they want.
Making My Own Products
That’s where the a-little-more-difficult part came in. What products will I make? Can I sell things on here? What should I write about? How do I not box myself into ‘only better business, unschooling and gentle personal development’ category. I didn’t want to box myself or this blog into that – I wanted to continue to be a whole person and it seemed challenging if I had to write about only certain topics on here, in order to make good business sense. I actually only realized the solution to that particular question last week, which is great. Actually, I realized only last week that this was a nagging thought/problem and realizing it immediately helped me realize the solution: take it easy, write about whatever you’re inspired about (a la Steve Pavlina, for those who know him and can draw upon this example).
So last week I realized that I can just write about whatever I want. I also, with the help of Jonathan Mead, realized that a good focus is ‘better business’ strategies – how to help businesses make themselves human friendly: engaging, allowing, creative. That’s an exciting project about which I have a lot of knowledge, a lot of ideas, less direct experience, a lot of enthusiasm – and one that will require some more major research. That felt a bit restricting, too – ahh, but I don’t want to box myself in!.
So, in mid-way-though summary: I wanted to not box myself in (one) and I wanted to figure out what products to make to make money (two).
Today’s Inspirations
Today, I received two incredible pushes toward writing. One came as an email from Naomi Dunford of Ittybiz – an amazing marketer and marketing coach – telling me that marketing is not selling out. Even ugly, sleazy-looking marketing is not selling out. That was an amazing email to read and I would love to enable everyone to read it, so I’m asking her about that. The second push was a comment I received that was not spam and was not from someone I knew. Someone (Cynthia) found me and commented on one of my entries here. This is exciting and so amazing because it means – hey I am writing and it means something to someone. I also had the thought that even though this content may be similar to other content other people publish, it’s unique in a way (presentation, style, philosophy etc) and someone will find this particular stuff useful so indeed I should go ahead and write and publish and make products for others to buy. Secondly, some people like to have more than one source on the same topic (people like me, for example ;)).
But… how do I figure out what product to create?
Really, there was another (internal) push of inspiration to write: I want to write about this whole figuring out what to actually make to sell online or elsewhere topic. I’ve been in the online-marketing world for a little over a year now… and I have all this information about how to market, about how to sell, about how to make products… but no real good info about how to figure out how to make. And this is a journey I think I can go through with my readers and the rest of the world. So, I will write about how I’m finding out what to sell. We’ll see where this takes us.
The other great thing about this post is that I now have momentum. Wonderful. So, thank you Jonathan Mead, Naomi Dunford and my commenter Cynthia.
07 Feb 2011
by Valeriein Business
Taking the business world in general and as an average, what would be some ways to make business better – for the employees, the customers, the business owners, society, the world?
In asking these kinds of questions, I like to focus on the human aspect of business. Here are some answers I came up with to the question of how to make business better.
- Let people choose their own hours. Let them choose when they come to work, when they leave and when they do their assignments.
- Make meetings optional. People know which meetings they need to go to and which are wastes of time. They are aware of when they need to seek help from someone or when they need to present their current projects or ideas to a group. Let them call their own meetings when they need to.
- Let people work from home and choose when to come into the office. When people are autonomous in regards to their time (as with everything else), they feel better and do greater things. Sometimes working from home helps you do good work instead of driving needlessly in traffic. (This also helps people take care of personal emergencies as required without wasting time asking for permission and getting things approved.)
Note that the above three points all rest on trusting people. Trusting that your employee (we’ll remain in the employer-employee realm for the time being) will do the job you hired him or her to do. That he enjoys his job. That she is capable of setting her own deadlines that work for both the company and the individual. That she is capable of managing her time. That he knows when he’s dead-tired and doing one more minute of work isn’t going to help anyone. That they know when they produce quality work. Trust that they are smart and intelligent and generally good people.
Many will try to argue with me on this point – I’ve seen arguments of the sort come up in various forms already (online and in person). It seems that trusting people is just a tautology you have to develop within yourself. Working under the assumption that people are lazy, it’s difficult to see that they aren’t. If one believes that people need external rewards or punishment in order to accomplish things, then it will be hard to witness examples of people who are inherently motivated. The self-fulfilling prophecy has an upper-hand in this type of situation.
So how can you start seeing the goodness in people which I’m arguing for so vehemently? Well – that question an awesome place to start. If you had even an inkling of that question in your mind, then you are so much closer to seeing the goodness of people. Let the concept of lazy people float around in your mind a little and not have a hold on you so much. Ask yourself if you can see the goodness of people – anywhere. Then keep in mind (on in a journal) your observations of the goodness of people. Soon, you’ll start seeing evidence of this claim more and more… and soon after that it’ll be everywhere. You don’t even have to try at this at all, just sort of let the other presumptions about people hover over you like a cloud and not overtake your entire mind.
This strategy generally works well in any situation – letting go of a certain belief for a brief period to try to see evidence of something you think isn’t true or could never happen. Try it especially on your employees if you’re a manager or a business owner. This could be better for you than you first think – once you start seeing your employees as great people then they’ll act more and more like great people and your relationship will most definitely improve.
Okay, what else will make businesses better for the people involved in them?
- Create a more beautiful working space. We’ve likely all seen pictures of a Google office – it’s a fun environment that encourages creativity and inspiration. I’m not suggesting every company install slides and gyms in their office (it’s not financially feasible nor necessarily a good thing for everyone), however sprucing up the office isn’t that difficult or financially strenuous when done right. And the rewards are tremendous – happier, more inspired people. What about some bright paint? What about more comfortable chairs? Or better lighting? Or, for a more concrete example, more space for employees of retail stores (oh – the horrors of working in the storage area of a retail store). Why not make your employees feel just as great in your space as you’d like your customers to feel?
- Share your profits with everyone in your company. Everyone that works with you at your company is responsible for the financial success of the business. Every. Single. Person. Your salespeople (obviously), your idea generators, the customer service people, your administrative assistants, your mangers.
So – create a payout program that will reward all these people. But the deal is, you’re not really rewarding them (so they can produce just as well the next time – you don’t really want to set up just another external motivator), you’re sharing in the profits they helped bring in and acknowledging that they really are part of the team. Now – they’re motivated to execute the little ideas they come up with that will make their work more efficient, improve your processes or will make your customers more pleased (this also related to point 6 below).
Most companies have profit sharing programs but they’re hardly something to open a bottle of champagne about. Take as large a chunk of your profits as you can and split it with your employees. Ask your employees’ opinion about how to split it up (although splitting up profits based on one’s salary seems fair and easy – it’s most likely not to be the best option or the best-regarded option for your employees. Again this leads to point 6).
- Truly seek advice from those who work with you. I think this is the hardest one for people to digest. Okay – so the ‘little people’ you’ve got working at your company – take for example the overlooked and overworked customer service people they’ve probably got a ton of ideas that will make the business better for them – for you and for your customers. Because they’ve got hands-on experience with the position, they’ve also got really great tips about how to improve it.
For example – not following a script when talking with people on the phone because it makes communication awkward and unnecessarily longer (just an example). Or, take salespeople – how about allowing them to choose their own shifts amongst themselves. This saves the manager a scheduling headache, makes for happier salespeople because they got the shift they wanted and thus they’re nicer to customers and makes for better camaraderie within the sales team because they worked together on a common goal. Most importantly, because the employees got to choose something related to a very important aspect of their life (their job), they may end up in a better overall mood.
- Encourage your employees to switch jobs (my source for this one is the book I discuss below, Maverick). We all get bored doing the same thing over and over again and when there’s no room for growth at our current positions, switching to something completely different may just be the answer.
It’s fun to discover and build skills in an area that is mostly foreign to us – for example, picture a marketing director switching to a financial manager position. This would make for an interesting environment and help a company keep those employees who are passionate about the company’s mandate but are looking for a new challenge. Of course – the two people switching positions would decided to do it in advance, train each other for a while before switching and coach each other after they’ve swapped.
Let’s pause here. This is a lot to think about and digest. I’ve offered six doable and fantastic plans for making a business better for the humans involved.
How did I come up with these kinds of ideas? As with others, there’s a back story to this article. I used to work for several different companies and industries – retail, sales, marketing, hospitality – and over the years I managed to come up with a few ways of doing things better. That’s how I know that working at retail would be much better if the store or company management cared about its sales people’s working environment and created nice backrooms for them, at least somewhat resembling the good-looking front of the store.
I’ve noticed in many different situations how people are great. For one, I can see that I try to do my best in a given situation and generally want the best for those around me – I feel I am a good person. And, knowing that no one is a worse person or better them me (on the inside, as a human), then everyone must be as good as I am. Therefore everyone is good. That’s actually a restating of Raymond M. Smullyan’s argument from one of his books, The Tao is Silent (get it at Amazon). I like that argument very much.
I also noticed that people become less sure of how great they are as time goes by while they are in school or at a job. Elders (teachers, school administrator and parents) are so easily swayed into telling the children with whom they are interacting that they are no good – for not doing homework, for disrupting a class, for having a fight. We don’t believe it from the start, but slowly, because so many older (and therefore, according to them, wiser) people have told us this, it starts to seep in and make a difference in the way we think of ourselves (and then the self-fulfilling prophecy phenomenon takes hold and it’s a cycle that repeats itself).
So – I know people are great. And I know that a great many of them hate their jobs and live for the weekend or censor their own great opinions and suggestions. And I’m not sure that’s a good way of going about doing this society thing we’re doing (a little revelation I had about 2 years ago is that we create our society). So, why don’t we do it better? Starting with… anything – business, schools, the way we treat each other, the list goes on.
One thing we can start with is running our businesses better. After all, businesses are not all bad. Sure, some of them do things badly, but business inherently is not so bad (even money inherently is not bad). Businesses are perfect ways for us to grow. And we are always growing – we are always eager to pick at some new task, some new adventure (intellectual or physical) and we like to do new things. The nature of business definitely reflects that – it reflects humans’ want for growth, change, new opportunities, design, excitement and fun. I say we should let our businesses represent those kinds of qualities more often.
The way we do that is slowly change the businesses we’re involved in. If we are running our own business and have employees, why not start trusting them more often? If we’re at a job we like, why don’t we suggest the things outlined above to our bosses? If we’re at a job we hate, we can start hating it less. We can start to look for better opportunities.
“Impossible!” I hear some of you telling me. Well, actually, no. It’s not impossible. Not only is it possible (because I’ve outlined how it can be done), it has been done. These kinds of changes have been done and this kind of way of doing business exists. One of the companies that does this is called Semco and is run by one of my favourite people, Ricardo Semler (I don’t know him in person, yet, but based on his words, I already like him).
While asking questions, of myself and of the world, about how to make the world reflect the goodness of humans, I came across many books which answered some of them. One of these books is Maverick: The Success Story Behind the World’s Most Unusual Workplace by Ricardo Semler. This book outlines the journey of the company Semco (based in Brazil) from a regular-ol’ company, with practices not different from most companies, to one that embodies the principles I outlined above and practices the principles I preached here and other similar better ways of doing business.
I highly recommend reading this book for anyone interested in finding out how a company can actually transform itself and begin doing business in a way that celebrates the goodness, internal motivation, and intelligence of human beings. I recommend this book to anyone looking for answers about how these changes were done from a practical perspective. I recommend this book to anyone who believes in the human spirit and in a better way of doing business.
Find it at the local library or at Amazon.
31 Jan 2011
by Valeriein Other Stuff
This post is the second of a two-part series. The first part deals with my own quitting of school and the 9-5 world and struggling with school withdrawal. The second part discusses how to inject energy into your day, stop complaining and fill your life with things you love.
At times, struggling with creating a schedule for my day or wrestling with being on my own trying to accomplish the things I want with little success while the days continue to pass me by, I wished that I was still in school, being given homework, because at least then I’d be doing something with some value. I wished that I hadn’t decided to forgo the nine-to-five route because then I’d be within a group of people for eight hours of my day, I’d be given challenges and a salary and those would probably be more worthwhile than I first imagined them to be.
And then I remembered: but, I cannot continue wishing I was somewhere else my entire life. I realized that when I wished I was in school, it was difficult for me to fathom how to practice loving things in the now and I knew that once I quit school it would be so much easier for me to practice loving things because I would just love the fact that I have all my time to myself and that thought would set the tone for this love of the now. But, it didn’t. You know why? Because my mind was used to complaining about the way things are and even though I changed circumstances to something that objectively pleased me I still could not like it because I wasn’t used to liking things, I was used to criticizing them.
Whoa there, big revelation.
So, I continued thinking, changing circumstances again to having a nine-to-five job would just perpetuate my negative ways of looking at things. Sure, I’d probably appreciate a job more than I ever could have in my past because of the difficulties I faced just recently with not having a time anchor, but I wouldn’t be working on the main problem at hand: appreciating where I am now. And that would be a cop-out.
Around the time of this revelation was the time in my life I started to love doing the dishes.
It wasn’t a big deal at first. It wasn’t really even planned. I was home a lot and dishes needed to be done and I would do them. The first thing I loved about doing dishes was the cleanliness of the kitchen counter when they were done. Simple, very very simple. So, I began doing them more often right after a meal, or while preparing the meal, because then things would be clean and it would please me ever so much. But, still, my lower back hurt when I did do my dishes and the enjoyment was in the after-effect, not the action. That’s not loving to do dishes, that’s being tidy. (I’m just pointing out the difference here, this isn’t a criticism I had of myself at the time.)
Eventually, I turned to love the feeling of the warm water on my hands. And how I could be an architect when arranging my dishes to dry on their rack and how the soap smells nice (mango papaya). The whole act of doing dishes became so good to me the more I loved it.
And the magic happened when this started to spill into every other aspect of my life. Two weeks ago I decided, following Alex’s advice and the advice of my heart, to start writing out a list of things that may be interesting to do that day.
I had long wanted to do things that were interesting but by doing something came a caveat – that means I was no longer on my time off. My time off was something I craved when I was in school or when I had a job – and implicitly I decided I couldn’t do anything ‘useful’ or ‘work-related’ and it had to be time to relax. But, now all my time was free, and my mind was playing a psychological trick on me, making me feel like I was taking away from my free time if I was doing anything other than ‘relaxing’ (which had a very limited set of associated actions). So, drawing, painting, writing, applying to investors was definitely not part of it even though I longed to do these things without ulterior motives (i.e. only for the pleasure of it) but I still could not manage to do these things without feeling taken away from my free time.
But now, this idea to write a list of potentially interesting things came along – and I started doing that. My ‘this would be nice but it’s not necessary you do this today’ lists were of things that I would choose to do and I would acknowledge I was doing them for fun. They were definitely not to-do lists in the traditional sense – I was just trying to get some action out of me during the day and that could be anything that would bring about a good time. I had things like: wash my hair, do the dishes, make the bed, write a 500-word description of the business, take a walk, get the books out of the library, cook. Definitely not a traditional to-do list.
Now for the magic that happened: I started loving making the bed. Same as with the dishes, first the love stemmed from the good look of the place after the action. But it got my juices flowing and soon I was doing more exciting things – like getting the books from the library.
Quickly, I began to love pretty much every minute of a given day. I loved doing the things I chose to do and continued to do those joyful things. I can’t say that every day of my life is lived this way, but certainly most are and I’m catching up on the rest. It’s a wonderful feeling to have – loving your day, knowing that more good things are coming your way.
You start loving one aspect of your life, for whatever reason, and that love spills over to the rest of your life until you’ve got nothing left to complain about.
The reason I mention this is specifically related to wanting to change jobs or quit them altogether. I’ve heard about the tediousness of nine-to-five and I am inspired to create something different: I am speaking in support of already amazing companies to work at – to publicize them and their existence, I am working on creating a company that brings out the best in people and I am working on helping more companies become better in that respect. However – you can begin to change your life before you move onto a better position or to a better job at a company that respects you and your ideas. It can start before these companies take over. And it might as well start there, because you’re going to bring your mindset wherever you go, anyway.
***
Where am I going with this? I’m suggesting to you, all the lovely people of the world, that no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, if you want to change something, start by loving something in your life.
Make it something very very simple: the way your hair looks like after a salon blow-dry, the way your toothpaste tastes, the way you manage to organize your files. Something that you won’t immediately counteract with a “I like that, but…” – you know what I’m talking about: the “I love my work but it’s too far away”. Just find something you like, no buts.
Appreciate it for a bit. Don’t ask if ‘it’s working yet’. Stop forcing yourself to like something else in your life – just enjoy loving what you’ve already got to love. Then, soon enough, you’ll be surprised at all the other things you find yourself liking, all the other things that used to bug you but don’t anymore. Ah, the joys of a life filled with things to adore.
I’m telling you this because I know that even if circumstances change, if you aren’t already working the ‘like’ button but instead are criticizing your current situations, you’ll just bring that attitude to wherever you are. So, start bringing more lovable things into your life and start bringing about the change that you want by starting to like things in your life right now.
31 Jan 2011
by Valeriein Other Stuff
This post is the first of a two-part series. The first part deals with my own quitting of school and the 9-5 world and struggling with school withdrawal. The second part discusses how to inject energy into your day, stop complaining and fill your life with things you love.
“No doubt, doing my favourite things like cooking, reading, writing and designing business will be so much easier when I have more time. When I don’t have to do anything for anybody else – when I’m not tied down by homework or another job and I have every moment for myself to do what I want.”
That was my thought only a little over a year ago. And of course, I was right. But in another way I was wrong. Let me explain:
In my third year of university I Googled “how to quit school,” after realizing that I’ve been asking myself this question for several years.
What did my search come up with? Grace Llewellyn’s The Teenage Liberation Handbook, outlining exactly the ins and outs of quitting high school. Perfect! A bit late, but still perfect because now I knew that there were others who wanted to quit school, there were other A-students who may have put too much faith in the school system and were scorched badly and so many others who supported people like me.
Oh, that book has brought many wonders into my life. I was introduced to the best author in the field of education, John Holt. Ironically, I was intimidated by the prospect of picking up a book by John Holt because I thought, since he was described as the father of the field, his writing would be dry and heavily academic. I dreaded such writing.
But, what was I thinking? The man who critiques the way education is currently done and the ways of school that limit human creativity and ability instead of encouraging them could never write like that. He’d have to be a very clear writer, with well-thought out and well-written arguments that are easy to understand and follow. He’d have to be inspirational and kind. And he is.
I realized that I was right in my wish to quit schooling. I became aware of a few of the flawed premises I picked up in school and I definitely did not want to pick up more of those.
By then I’d also heard lots about the horrors of the nine-to-five job. Some people I knew were defending that lifestyle and proclaiming it “not-so-bad” and that they “liked their jobs”. I am not denying that they could’ve been honest with me, but I didn’t want to find out those full-time work horrors on my own, and the excuse of “not-so-bad” was not good enough for me to stay within the system.
Mind you, I was an entrepreneur ever since I could remember. With my best friend, I used to sell mix-tapes and home-décor to our third grade classmates (and fourth and fifth grade, it was a long-lasting enterprise). I started a web-design business after self-learning HTML when I was thirteen. When my guidance counsellor introduced my grade 7 class to goals, owning a successful business was definitely at the top of my list.
So, I decided that going into business was what I was going to do right away, instead of taking a detour into the workforce, as I was expecting to do before. I would take jobs here and there, but the main focus was to develop my own business along with my friends and a good one at that (one that wouldn’t perpetuate the nine-to-five culture we already have going and most of us had already decided against, anyway).
So, I had this marvellous discovery in my second semester, around March, in my third year of university. I decided that I would make the task of finishing school easier for myself and dropped from my physics specialist (like a bigger major, requiring more coursework to complete) to a physics major and pick up two minors – English and math – in order to complete my degree. Already the mission in front of me was easier. After discussion with family and friends – more specifically my mother and my boyfriend – I decided that I was going to finish even though I had all this newfound information.
In the upcoming summer I overloaded my schedule with English courses to complete the minor as fast as I could. In my fall semester in my fourth and last year I had decided to finish that year fast. Take all my last required courses in that one semester instead of spreading them into two semesters and finally finish my degree – finally have time to do the things I want to do without external distractions.
So, I did it and in December of 2009 I was free of school. I was in debt so I still needed to find a job – but that was fine, everyone was in debt after finishing school. I decided not to worry about it too much and take a month off anyway – decompress after 15 and a half years of schooling. Learn about myself a bit. Advice I got from Llewellyn.
***
Fast-forward to October of 2010. I was done with my most recent part-time job, I had my debts paid, I had some money saved up to last me for a year. I finally succeeded in having all my time to myself. My mission was now to use this time fruitfully.
And that mission was hard. I struggled with the fact that just about everyone I knew was either in school or work when I had time off so I had to learn to love my own company. In retrospect, this is something that I remember wanting to learn to do and I’m glad I had the chance to do it. But, while I was doing it, in the moment, it was difficult to get over the issue (I say this here because I think school has taught me otherwise – taught me as well as others I know that being alone is terrifying and hugely unwelcome).
It was hard to start doing the things I thought I loved to do. Procrastination exists even when you’re doing things only for yourself and only on your own terms? What?! I’d never thought this was even possible. Oh, the guilt of not doing the things you want to do and think you should do – it’s worse when these things are your own choice.
It was difficult to see that I was living on money that wasn’t growing. Sure, I was building a business, but businesses take some care and time. It’s not like time was running out and neither is my money – but that nagging feeling was another brick to work through.
Even as I write at this moment not everything is coming easily to me. It took me all day to gain the courage to write this entry. As always, I’ve got inspiration left and right but the words seem to be trapped inside of me.
In a sense – I’m going through school withdrawal. I’m unlearning some of the negative habits school has instilled in me (not that it was the only place that led me to such negative habits). And I realized, in light of my aspiration to set up my own center of learning based on John Holt’s writings, this is a fantastic opportunity!
Last week I had the honour of explaining this idea to a few interested people. That was a great experience for me. It made me see, again, that this idea is so well-received and well-liked and supported by those around me. This knowledge gives me inspiration to continue to work at it. When I think that maybe no one would like it, because so many have contested my new thoughts along the lines of John Holt’s thinking, I realize instead that those who disagree with me aren’t necessarily the people who will be visiting my center, instead I have a multitude of interested parties. And one of my roles in the center will be helping those who are also quitting and facing the issues I’ve faced.
One day, I will be of help to those people who also decide to quit school or work for some reason or those who decide to actually do something they love. I’ll help them when they are scared of what others think of them, when they’re worried about money, when they think they’re not smart or talented enough and when they’re procrastinating on things they know they’d love to work on. Since I’m now working on these mind-habits I’ve picked up, gaining on them and thus one day will no longer be experiencing them (I’m already free of some) then one I will have the ability to help others with similar experiences. That is such a warm feeling.
***
Onto Part 2 of How To Bring Things You Love Into Your Life (Or Quitting School and the Zen of Washing the Dishes).
19 Nov 2010
by Valeriein Other Stuff
I continue to receive many interesting post ideas that stem from writing in this blog – not the subjects about which I want to write, but writing itself. In that sense, this will be a similar entry to my very first one – writing about writing. I really enjoy these ideas that help me chew over the writing process – and any other creative process for that matter – you’ll see what I’m talking about. At first I was expecting to write about education, John Holt and all that wonderful jazz, but I just keep getting stuck and my stuckedness keeps bringing me these wonderful ideas to explore. So explore I shall.
One of the interesting reasons I haven’t been writing as often as I would like (should, wanted to at first, imagined that I would) is because I wait for inspirations to write. I don’t want to sit down and ‘make myself’ write. Firstly, because it would produce garbage or something just as smelly and secondly because I would feel not so good while making myself write, and really I want to continually feel fantastic, especially during my creative pursuits.
I feel like I keep dancing around the issue I’m trying to get at. I’m going to switch topics for a bit – or, I should say, elaborate. I have been trying to reread John Holt’s How Children Fail. To give you some background, I will tell you that John Holt was the easiest material I have ever read – he is a very clear writer, he explains his thoughts and ideas seamlessly and he assumes his readers are intelligent. A wonderful read, I will reiterate. I also generally like reading. So why all difficulty? My answer is that I’m trying to read with a purpose in mind which is to write about my reading material and my thoughts about it. So every time in the last three or four months that I’ve tried to pick up this book, I didn’t. I just looked at it and said ‘another time’. All because I attached some end-all outcome and purpose for reading.
What I’ve been doing, then, is train myself to read for pleasure again. I’ve picked up other books to read to relearn how it feels like to read just because. And I said to myself that I will not purposefully take notes on any reading material (as in, write down what I’m reading if it seems interesting or a good point to write about) – I will only write something down if I’m excited about it (which is what naturally happens when I read for pleasure). So I know that I will write about John Holt here and it will stem from reading his books (among other things), but I don’t want to create this end-all purpose because it thwarts my inspiration and therefore the kind of writing I produce and how I got about producing it.
My hunch is that this arises from our society really really caring about end results, much more than anything else. Do I need to source this? Perhaps I’ll remind my readers that I currently live in Toronto, Canada (and that this entry is date stamped). I will lead anyone who wants ‘actual evidence’ of what I’m
saying to the following sources: the culture of schools and workplaces, motivational books for business people, books on how to manage time. This actually gets a bit more personal and less general here: I quit school and quit work. I am working for myself and I am doing things out of inspiration – all the time, it’s magnificent. I came to the realization that I wanted to quit the way we normally do society (9-5 etc) a long time ago. I remember back in my school days, when my time was decided for me and my extra time outside of any institution was also sometimes decided for me (by homework!), I longed for free time. I yearned for extra minutes to do what I wanted. That was one of the main things I thought about. Unlike others ( – and I wish I did as they did – ) I didn’t take on my extra-curricular projects. This meant that I actually did have more time on my hands. However, it turned out that instead of doing exciting things during this time, I ended up doing nothing inspirational (some would say I wasted my time). Most of the time, I did mindless things (say, watch TV). I was an avid reader and I did learn interesting things on the side, but I didn’t let those fill up my days. This happened, in my opinion, because I just wanted more free time, more time for myself, always more time.
I think you can see where I’m going with this. Now that I have all my time to myself (and I do) I still catch myself thinking like that. There are times when I will get inspired to do something and talk myself out of it because I want to have more time. A bit ridiculous. But, I think this shows why people indeed end up doing nothing much else except the tasks they are given by society (work, school etc). I think this is an interesting point that will really add to the school discussions that will come – how these tasks train us out of inspirational work because we’re looking for more time and in that time we don’t want to do anything that remotely looks like ‘work’ – but inspirational things often look like work (even though they’re really not (depending on definitions, I concede to that), but as you see, this is another topic for discussion).
I hope that through my writing you can tell I’m not bitter. I am most excited having all my time to myself and so incredibly overjoyed to discover these little thinking bugs I’ve picked up over the years – and solve them. (On a side note – that’s how I spend my time now – fixing my thinking bugs, or rather thinking in better and better ways and always reaching for a better feeling – oh yeh! You see what I did there? Heh). I’m also not bitter about the societal problem I’ve just explained – it’s all good. There are good things and bad things involved with the ways schools are currently run in general (I don’t mean the administration, but the squeaky gears of the system itself) – and because of that I’ve discovered John Holt, which is a grand discovery for sure, and because of it I am just so much more clear about what I do want to find in ‘learning places’, specifically in those I will build, and that’s fabulous.
Taking that thought and running with it: I’ve said previously (well, in my first entry) that I don’t want to criticize the ‘negative’ things that I see so much as point out wonderful things that can be done. I’ve learned that in fact all the wonderful things we think about and see arise from understanding so much more clearly what we do want – from negative experiences. I don’t think that it’s always the case that we must have horrible horrible things come up in our experience in order to create the good stuff – I think that we can create some good good things from only mediocre experiences. Oh! Let me say that in another way – I don’t think we have to suffer. Oh yes – that’s a good one. We don’t have to suffer in order to create more wonderful things. So, in a sense (without even knowing it consciously till writing this paragraph now) I realized that I can bring up my problems and I will indeed bring them up in such a way that’s not complaining or wanting to complain but in an inspired ‘oh look – look how wonderful I’ve now created my picture of how I see things’ – and that’s exactly what I wanted when I first talked about it in my first entry. (It looks like I may have to move these ideas elsewhere because they’re not directly related to my title.)
Getting back on track: Some may ask why I don’t just motivate myself into writing more often – why don’t I just use all those motivational methods I’ve picked up in school and that I read in all the hundreds of business books I went through in my younger years. Why not just motivate myself and get the goods out (and possibly the extra income etc etc – this applies to many things in my life)? Well – because as I said, motivation produces work that’s usually sub-par, that would’ve been better if you were inspired and would have felt better to create in an inspired state.
But don’t I care about end results? Ah – getting back to my main point. No, I don’t care about end results. In one sense, because everything I ever wanted is already done – it’s finished, caput (everything that ever came was in imagination first – I’ll explain what I said in this way for now) and I know that I’m living to feel great and to continue along calmly and therefore to see it done in the physical realm for everyone else to see and wonder about. So, wait, didn’t I just say that I do care about end results – because at the end I did say it’s about seeing it done?
Well, yes and no. End results, don’t get me wrong, are so incredibly cool! They are! They are just so sweet when they happen and wonderful to touch and smell and kiss and love. And they keep on coming and keep on showing themselves and end results of fresh desires are just oh-so-great. Yes. End results are not everything though, and therefore I will not enslave my time or mind in order to accomplish them. The irony of this entire discussion is that the end results will come in abundance as soon as you stop worrying about them and whether they will come.
Inspiration will spring up as soon as you’re not worried about populating your blog. And your entries will be oh-so-beautiful and well-written and just to your liking. But they won’t quite be so good if you whipped yourself into doing it. And the entire creating experience would not have been so wonderful. What a wonderful wonderful paradox, don’t you think? Just let it happen, then.
I want to write about how to see inspiration when it shows up and how to act on it. Unfortunately I’m still working out the kinks out of that one for myself. I’m not saying that my worked-out kinks will be anything like what you’re looking for in solving yours, but I think that my insights might help others find some, too. So, when I get inspired about writing about inspiration, I will!
Motivation vs Inspiration: do things from an inspired place – only.
Oh, and this will play in so nicely when writing out some ideas about how I want my ‘school’ to be.
PS – But – what if I have to do this (by tomorrow!)? Lately, I’ve taken the route of getting myself inspired. Getting myself in a state of allowing the action which I must do – even if I don’t want to do it. So, say I gotta do something I don’t want to do (which doens’t happen very often) – get into feeling excited about doing it. Actually, this looks like another post – I want to take the time and collect all my strategies – this is good! And will be good!
Again, Motivation vs Inspiration: do things from an inspired place – only.
30 Oct 2010
by Valeriein Personal
Usually, I get two or three ideas to write about each day. Ideas that are fully formed themselves and inevitably interrelate with my other many ideas. So, why don’t I write about them? I ask this of myself often. And others ask this of me often, too. It’s a tricky question, isn’t it? There’s a bit of blame that goes into it – something like this: “Well, Valerie, you tell me that you know what to write about and generally you say that you can write, so where’s the writing, huh? What’s stopping you? Stop being silly, and just write.” Well, this isn’t actually what’s coming out of anyone’s mouth, it’s just one of my stances against myself.
Let me get down to one of the more concrete reasons I haven’t been writing lately. It’s because most of my ideas have been more personal. And what I mean by personal is much of what this particular post resembles. I get the I’m-learning-something-new-and-I’m-not-sure-how-to-apply-it-yet ideas and those just don’t seem like good first blog post material (clever trick – I’ve just overcome the first-blog-post-fear with this one!). And I don’t even know what category to put those kinds of posts under because a lot of the things that are personal are also (very much) related to my more broad categories (say education or business).
Another thing that’s been stopping me from writing is that sometimes my ideas are negative – and generally I’d like to focus on ‘good’ things rather than ‘bad’ things. Some of the greatest subjects I became interested in in the past couple of years arise from negative social issues – like those relating to education and business. What I’d like to focus on are the positive aspects – like how awesome and amazing my communal productive building will be and is becoming (in my mind for now) and how amazing it would be to work with different companies applying the things I’ve learned and picked up along the way. But sometimes my ideas stem from a more negative perspective and I’m not entirely sure whether I should share them in this forum or not. On the one hand they may illuminate and inspire but on the other hand – well I’ve seen lots of people get caught up with negative ideas without the previously mentioned illumination or inspiration taking place in a positive way… and I don’t want that to happen to me, or I don’t want that to happen to my wonderful readers… or I don’t want to start that chain. You with me? I want to evoke and inspire good things and not political arguments or my-way-is-better arguments. This is all because I don’t think they’re fun or productive (though I should say upfront I’m not big on productivity anyway or rather I don’t place that much importance on it).
Well, what else? What else is that I’ve been pondering about these subjects in my head and I don’t have a conclusion yet. And it seems to me through my extensive reading and research that bloggers ought to be conclusive with the things they say… and I answer myself that I don’t have to act the way I think bloggers ought to act and besides, maybe this is something to say – progress is interesting to talk about and when one does finally come to a conclusion, it’s still a good time to see how they got there and what other points of view are available.
I also want to chronicle my wading through quantum mechanics (again and with fresh eyes this time) and electromagnetism (also again and with fresh eyes – and with fresh sources, too!) and statistics. I think the statistics part would be more interesting for the time being. Question is – does this all fit in here? I finally have it figured out that I’ll post the entries as I would normally under their respective categories but not necessarily publish the categories under my main menu (speaking of which, I actually want to organize things more like Chris Pearson does them). Genius! Hide the ugly things from the readers until you’re ready! Actually, I much like this idea. I don’t so much like the idea of having multiple blogs for all these different topics – mostly because I don’t want to keep up with so many and in the past multiple blogs have paralyzed me into not writing… and I could also argue the evils of fragmentation *smirk*.
I should also return to a concern I mentioned in my first paragraph. My ideas are so interrelated. So, sometimes I sit down and write what’s on my mind and realize that it’s just so very short – it’s just a snippet of the worlds I think about. And I also realize that if this text was published as a real blog post, it would be full of links to my other posts – which haven’t been written yet – and without those links it would just be so empty and ill-explained. Catch 22? I never even read that book.
This blog post is tricky indeed – overcoming not writing by writing about not writing is just the sort of thing that I like to do. And now I see first-hand what people talk about when they say that they get inspiration from each blog post they write – I’ve just thought of three new ideas – ha! I’ll have to think of ways of easily recording them while I write while retaining their essence and not breaking my flow. (Look forward to that post!)
Since this is my first blog post, after all, I should tell you what I intend to write about. There’s education – John Holt, uneducation – that sort of thing. The order I wanted to do things was to review his books – but we’ll see how it actually turns out. My other big one is business – Ricardo Semler and Semco style stuff and about the craziness of 9-5 and what-is-this-productivity-thing-all-about-anyway. I also want to write and explore the design of the buildings and structures I actually want to create – a wonderful ‘school’ (gosh I wish I could be pretentious here and use that word as the Greeks have used it, but I won’t get into it now) and wonderful businesses. What else? Forbidden science (a la Richard Milton and Dean Radin), wholeness, synchronicity. The list goes on but as I tried to add more items they just seemed vague and uninteresting in a list format. So, instead I’ll link back to them when there’s something concrete to show.
What do I really want to get from writing? A forum – I’d like to discuss these ideas with others. Collaboration – I’d like to be inspired and inspire and therefore create wonderful things. And I’d like to improve my writing – make it easier to read, funny, flowing and clear.
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